I can’t believe how I have neglected this blog! Here is a run-down of what has been going on the last few months…
My darling daughter is now 9 months and I cannot believe in 15 weeks we will have another one!
I never imagined that I would feel this way pregnant. I spent the entire first trimester sick. I expected some morning sickness…but what I experienced I dubbed my “afternoon delight.” As the day progressed I would feel increasingly worse. My whole life I have been a very active person (runner, swimmer, biker, climber, college athlete, etc.) and I expected to be doing a variety of activities throughout my pregnancy. Instead, I spent almost the entire first trimester on the couch. I was too sick or tired to do anything when I wasn’t at work.
Everyone kept telling me I would feel better once I hit the second trimester…well, the second trimester came and I didn’t experience any relief. Then, around week 20, I started feeling better. I was hesitant to accept this, thinking that the sickness would be back. But, here we are at 25 weeks and I have felt much better than the beginning. I have been hiking with my DD in her backpack and trying to do some jogging any pregnancy workout videos. I don’t feel great by any stretch of the imagine, but absolutely better.
We have been through the NT scan, blood draws, and anatomy scan without any problems. We found out a few weeks ago that we are having another girl. (Very exciting!) I have to do the glucose tolerance test in the next few weeks (which I am not looking forward to.) Emotionally, I am a roller coaster! I have cried for no reason, laughed uncontrollably after a good joke. These hormones are unbelievable.
I am excited about the rest of the pregnancy and really looking forward to meeting our new daughter. As she gets more and more active with her kicking and turning, I get more and more excited about our life with our two little girls!
I am very adamant about having an intervention-free natural birth. If left to my own, I would definitely have a home birth. My partner (having had a long complicated labor with our daughter that ended in emergency c-section) thinks that going to the birth center is the best option. I am going to spend the next 15 weeks getting as educated about my birth as I can so that I can achieve my goal of natural delivery in the birth center.
Looking forward to bringing another cloth-diapered, breast-fed, strong independent little girl into the world!
It really doesn’t seem believable. I took a pregnancy test 10 days after my IUI. The test looked faintly positive. I didn’t believe it. I still don’t! My partner told me that there is no such thing a slightly pregnant. Very true. However, I have a fear that this could just be a chemical pregnancy. I’m really trying not to get my hopes up. I was due to get my period 2 days ago…nothing. Today I thought, maybe it’s just late. But today is day 30, and I have a pretty predictable 28 day cycle. Every time I go to the bathroom I expect to see my period. And, each time I walk away in disbelief. When will this really sink in. I suppose after a pregnancy test at the doctor’s office confirms it I will give it some more credence. Until then I will just continue trying to dismiss each “pregnancy sign” as merely a fluke. I really wouldn’t want to be wrong. It just seems too good to be true. Could it really be true?!!!
If I am pregnant, I knew it from the day after my IUI. If I’m not…then it’s all just in my head.
Here’s how the IUI went. We woke up on Sunday and met Dr. Shelly at her office. We were sitting in the parking lot laughing trying to guess what kind of car Dr. Shelly drives. (As luck would have it, we never saw her car.) Dr. Shelly came to the door and let us in. She must be a mind reader because she said “You didn’t see my car because I have to park around the side.” She was super casual, sporting her running pants and Chaco sandals. My partner unstrapped the storage tank for the “popsicle” from the back of the car. While I took our darling daughter (DD) out of the car. Off we went into the doctor’s office. It felt strangely like we were breaking the rules…in the doctor’s office with nobody else. Kind of like when you are a kid and a teacher opens up school and lets you in on the weekend. Or when you go into the office on the weekend and nobody else is there. We weren’t doing anything wrong…but it sure felt like we were. Dr. Shelly led us to the room where she would do the IUI. Once we got there she approached the storage box and said “Do you know how to open it?” OMG. I really had thought that she had done this before. Her assistant made it sound like she had. Regardless, we were going to figure it out! (Good thing I am a dork and spent the night before on Fairfax’s website watching videos of opening the cryotank, removing the specimen, and thawing.) We told Dr. Shelly that we knew how to open the storage box and that we knew you should wear gloves to handle the specimen. She put on some Nitrile gloves (not exactly the kind we were talking about!) Dr. Shelly removed the specimen and started to warm it in her hands. She told me it would take some time, so when I was ready I could put on the gown. After about 20 minutes she asked us if we wanted to see the little swimmers. We said sure and followed her down the hall to her room with the microscope. I really wish I had paid more attention to the little guys! I took notice of some swimming, some not. She said “we are looking for good strong forward swimmers.” There were definitely some of those. But I really wish I took note of what percentage of them were swimming well. Oh well, I will know for next time…if there is a next time! Anyways, we went back to the room and Dr. Shelly performed the IUI. It was completely painless for me. Afterwards she had me lay there for about 15 minutes. I laid there willing the little swimmers to find my egg and make the magic happen. The rest of the day I couldn’t help but constantly wonder if it had worked.
The next day I took a pregnancy test. I know! I know! There is no way that it would be positive but I just couldn’t help myself. How am I possibly going to be able to wait 2 weeks?! I have noticed a few things though…I had a slight metallic taste in my mouth a couple of times since the IUI. I have noticed a little cramping, nothing bad. I seem to have a keen sense of smell these days. And, I have been really hot! Now, like I said before, this could all be in my head. It has been hot, after all. And the crampy feeling could be from the millions of little swimmers unleashed inside my uterus. The smell thing could just be something I have noticed because of my heightened awareness. And, who knows about the metallic taste, I’m sure there is a reason for that too. Alas, I have no choice but to wait and hope. I am trying to be optimistic. Yet, trying not to get too excited. This two week wait is enough to make any woman trying to conceive crazy. I’m trying not to get crazed about it. I’ll just have to wait and see.
I knew my surge was going to come around the 24th. I got my period on the 10th and my cycle is fairly predictable. But this time when the 13th approached I started second guessing myself. What if I was late? What if I scared it off? What if it came early and our “pop-sicle” wasn’t here yet?! What if…?! What if…?! I’m sure my partner was tired of me saying “what if it doesn’t come.” I could not believe I was obsessing over this. Actually, I should say, I can’t believe I AM obsessing over this! I had started trying to get everything in order last week. Good thing I did! Fairfax Cryobank proved to be much more difficult to deal with than they had been last year. We had to jump through a ton of hoops to get them to change the patient’s name to me. Then we had to change the physician’s name, since our ob agreed to do our IUI this time. Then we had to get the “popsicle” delivered to our house. Every time I called Fairfax I got a different person on the phone and was told that we needed something else. Then it was nearly impossible to get through to their fax machine. Then we had the problem of east coast vs. west coast business hours. All in all, I was a crazy person trying to get our sperm shipped to us to arrive in time for my surge. Tuesday morning when I finally finished all of the madness and got our order confirmed I was thrilled! Now all I had to do was wait for my surge. I must have gone through 20 OPK’s. Every time I went to the bathroom I was seeking my surge. Our “popsicle” arrived on Friday morning and took a seat on our fireplace, it too, waiting for my surge. No surge on Friday. Then, Saturday morning…IT CAME! I really couldn’t believe it. I did 3 OPK’s just to make sure that I was right. Then I called my doctor. We are set for tomorrow morning. My first IUI attempt! I keep wondering if my partner felt this way last year before her IUI’s. It feels really different being the patient. Last year I was SO excited but it was all so hopeful and new. This year, I feel like there is more pressure. We have been down this road before and it proved to be fairly short and simple. I only hope this year’s trip works out as well. Keeping my finger’s crossed!
I am not a big fan of having my period. But, I am also not one of those women who dreads it. I take note of it as a landmark to let me know that life is ticking by as it should…regularly. My period has been regular since the very beginning. I have always taken it for granted. It comes, it goes. Sometimes arriving just in time and sometimes arriving at the worst time imaginable. In college I prayed for it to arrive on big game days because it always brought with it an amazing bought of speed and energy. In my early twenties I prayed for it to come so I would know that I didn’t really mess up the other night. But now, as a thirty-something lesbian, my period is just there, marking the passing of time. Well, that’s how it was anyways, until my partner and I started talking about trying to have a baby. Since she was older we decided that she should carry our first child. As we began tracking her ovulation, I started tracking mine too…just for fun. She peed on sticks to detect her surge, I peed on sticks to see if I could find mine. I was so excited to participate every step of the way. A few months ago our beautiful daughter was born. We were so busy with a newborn that I couldn’t even think about having another one. But, we always said that we wanted to have them close together and we would try for baby 2 as soon as we could so that they would be at least a year apart. Well, this month we started the ball rolling. I have been looking forward to getting my period like I never have before! I could not wait for it to come. I knew it would be around the 10th or so. Like clockwork, it showed up the morning of the 10th. I REALLY could not contain my excitement! This means that in about 15 days we can try our first attempt at baby 2. This time it’s my turn. I am really excited to be pregnant. I loved going through this journey with my partner and I am really looking forward to experiencing all of the things that she felt and experienced. I am cautiously optimistic. I really want it to work, but I am trying to manage my own expectations. I am beginning to understand how many women TTC feel. This is going to be an adventure! I can safely say that from this point on….at least for the next year…I will not be looking forward to the arrival of my period. I will be hoping for it’s absence!
Today I decided that I wanted to be a blogger. So, here it goes! I don’t know if anyone will be interested in hearing our story…but I am going to share it anyways. If nothing else, my children can read it when they are old enough! Simply put, I am one half of a lesbian couple. My partner is the most amazing woman I have ever met. We have a gorgeous daughter and are just beginning to plan our next child. This is our journey….come along if you’d like!